shim-sham jimmy

shim-sham jimmy made some cantakerous combobulations,
with a to and a fro that left hizzoner proud, and he glossed
his lips with an inky inspiration from some j.crew poster boy
cause today the preacher-man's a-callin', callin' jimmy's name

shim-sham jimmy took his sherry straight, smooched castratas
with abandon, when the vapors held him in their scintillatin' grip
and told his daddy-tales to strangers on the streets of downtown
beaufort, giving southern comfort where southern comfort's due

he was a grief and a trial and a sore-felt tribulation, was this
fallen magnolia, this splendiferous celebration of a river delta's
pride, and he did a fine bojangle, with a soft-shoe skip-dee-doo
hopping over sidewalk cracks, making root-beer jingles for the crowd

but when the man comes callin', and the dead kick up with pride,
and god's own angels turn away with a snicker and a hoot
then a lad knows as lads have always done that the hard time's a-come
but jimmy was a caution, and the preacher but a man

there is a tale worth the learnin', for the preachers and their wrath,
from the buttery tongue of a shim-sham boy, jimmy quick and easy
never live your sermons or dark old father sun, 'cause when the book
is finally written, you'll know your day is done